Lock Sam Up

. Southend Roadtrip .

The following account is of a road trip, conducted by Mr Lacey, in which he abducted and forced members of the Hambleden Youth Group to drive with him around a really random route, going from Lane End to Hambleden via Southend, Lewknor, Watlington, Nettlebed, Henley, Marlow and High Wycombe.

Leaving Lane End at 11.30am with a victim already in the car, Mr Lacey made his way to Hambleden via Frieth having picked up another on the way. After searching for Kate in Hambleden, he drove back towards Frieth and tried to pick up his final victim. He successfully surprised his victim, but noticed that his victim’s parents were at home, so he decided to leave in order to think of a way to abduct without their knowledge.

His tummy began to rumble (for being a criminal and abducting people is hungry work), so he decided to head to ASDA (for he secretly loves the neon green signs and longs to work there in order to get hold of an ASDA jacket). Clemmie, one of the victims, tried in vain to run away while Sam was shopping, but was unable to get away quick enough. The following products were found to have been purchased after one of our officers gained a receipt from the store:

ASDA Receipt:

1 x 2L Coca Cola

1 x Party Rings

1 x Walkers Crisps (6 pack)

1 x Cadburys Chocolate Sweets

1 x Finding Nemo cakes (6 pack)

1 x Party Poppers (20 in pack)

1 x Squawker Blowouts (8 in pack)

After significant analysis, it was deemed by our forensic team that Mr Lacey had found any excuse for a party. With £13.75 worth of petrol bought, he left the store and headed back to Frieth. By this time he had clearly thought of a plan, as Tim was successfully abducted within moments of reaching his home.

After muttering the words “What’s down this road? Oh well, let’s see” Mr Lacey zoomed towards Skirmett. A few random turnings later, and after almost knocking down a couple of deer, Mr Lacey finally arrived at Southend.

Forcing his victims to have their photo taken next to the Southend sign, and visiting Southend farm (including viewing a bull - pictured), he finally allowed his victims to join in eating some of the food bought.

He then set off on the route shown below, zooming past settlements such as Christmas Common, Watlington, Christmas Common again, Park Corner and finally ending up in Henley-on-Thames. He even attempted to run over the sheep pictured, but was unable to get near to them before they reached their new field.

It was then found out, clearly through using GPS, that Kate was located in High Wycombe. It was unclear where Mr Lacey would have gone if he had not received this information, but Mr Lacey then began driving towards Wycombe with great urgency. Bypassing Marlow, he finally arrived in Wycombe and parked near Iceland.

While telling Tim and his other victims to go and buy some Iced Gems from Iceland (on a ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ promotion at the time, in case you’re interested), he crept behind Kate, traumatised her by using a party popper as an offensive weapon, and threw her into the boot of his car (see photo). He then zoom zoom zoomed back to Hambleden, reaching it at 5.00pm, before carrying out the hideous act that can be seen in Recon 2. The only positive from the incident was that, while Sam was clearly having a whale of a time laughing, the other victims were able to escape. But for how long…

Click here to view Recon 2 – Mr Lacey and the Bridge

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